Chandigarfunkel

I'm finally feeling better after bringing back an unfortunate souvenir from India. Campylobacter. You supposedly get it from eating undercooked chicken, but I've been chicken-free since 1998, so who knows what happened...

One of the more interesting cities we visited was Chandigarh, which was planned out by Le Corbusier in the '50s after the Punjab's historic capital was partitioned over to Pakistan.

To check out the High Court, Assembly, and Secretariat buildings, we had to wait an hour for a signature from the Department of Tourism and another hour for permission from the Chief of Protocol. Funny...the electricity went out while we were sitting in a government office. The workers passed the time by suggesting KFC as a lunch spot and observing that Mexicanos look like Indians. "You have the Red Indians, do you not?"

The verdict...I like Le Corbusier's architecture as stand-alone modernist designs, but his master plan gave rise to a harsh, disconnected city that's tough on the pedestrian. Why are the major government buildings waaayyy to the north rather than a central location? Where are the sidewalks? Why must the neighborhoods have such wonderfully mechanical names like Sector 18 and Sector 22?

Delhi Metro

Back from a memorable trip to India! We love our October vacations...nice weather, less crowds, no whiny kids on the plane.

Our stops...and the first word that pops in my head for each city...

Delhi...scam
Agra...sick
Haridwar...pilgrims
Rishikesh...Beatles
Mussoorie...cool
Chandigarh...bureaucrats
Delhi...exit

don't bong me around

As I was walking home down 3rd Street from dropping off some specimens from Quest Diagnostics near Little Tokyo (it was regarding my recent India trip), I noticed that the shops I used to frequent during my Ebay days were gone. Instead of Japanimation toys and video games, most of the storefronts showcased bongs of every sizes and in different incarnation of the human anatomy. I love toys and marijuana does terrible things to me - like cause me not to have fun. The explosion of medical marijuana butted its way to the front of the popularity competition. I don't begrudge it, only the unbelievable amount of chemicals and lead found in dispensed spliff. I vote that the Toy District be renamed Bong Village. It'd be more appropriate and will attract more business. The face of L.A. could change to something huge. Amsterdaic paraphernalia galore.

Made in India

We'll be traveling in India the rest of October...see you in November!

Sylvanjail bears

I attended San Jose's Sylvandale Junior High in the '80s, when the school district installed a ten-foot high chain link fence topped with barbed wire around the perimeter. Sylvanjail was born.

Even then I didn't like feeling like a prisoner, and I'm still not a fan of gates, walls, window bars, private streets, vacated alleys, and security check points.

I prefer hearing about walls being dismantled, fences reduced in height, bridges constructed, bus stops added, rail lines planned, and hiking and biking trails extended and connected.

The photo shows the Hayward Hotel at Spring and 6th in Downtown Los Angeles. A gate on the Spring Street side has been removed...that's what I'm talking about.

Century City's got everything covered

I found this 1960s sign advertising a Century City construction project. It's still sitting in the most run-down, godforsaken vacant industrial lot in the city I work in. If you look carefully at the upper right corner of the sign, you'll see the faded words, "An Alcoa development."

I'm amazed that I've been at my current job for almost five years. My previous employment was a three-year, whacked-out tour of duty with the State of California, and ahead of that was scattershot work with titles including words like...substitute, contract, part-time, temporary, assistant, or student.

One gem was retail work hawking souvenirs at the since-demolished Schubert Theater in Century City. I tended a little kiosk before and after plays and musicals, and occasionally I'd recognize a face from film and television. This one co-worker (I forget his name, but he looked exactly like the Chief from BSG) was always on the active lookout for celebrities to harass.

Michelle Pfeiffer wandered over by herself one evening, and sure enough, the Chief came running over from across the way. "Has anyone ever told you you look like Michelle Pfeiffer?" he panted. He always used that line.

"Yes, because I am Michelle Pfeiffer."

"I knew it! I knew it! Can I get an autograph?"

He never succeeded in getting an autograph.

Sunday papers don't got no eyes

This sad LA Weekly newsrack had been yanked...most likely for being an oddball color...and was sitting on a scrap heap behind the Historic Downtown Los Angeles BID HQ on Spring Street. A Newsrack Ordinance has been on the Los Angeles books for several years, and one of the regs stipulates a single color...Ivy Green...for all racks.

When I moved back to Los Angeles after five years in Santa Ana, I suspended my Los Angeles Times subscription, and I intended to try exclusively reading the online version. I gave it a month, but I had to resume delivery to my new place.

Say all you want about the death of print media, but there's really no substitute for flipping the freshly printed news sheets, folding the paper under your arms, or getting lost in column inches continued from the front page. And I was having a hard time lining the birdcage with LA Weekly tabloid-style pages.

My only complaint is that the delivery person drops off the morning stack at the front security desk in my Downtown building. When I lived in a multi-story college dormitory in the '90s, the delivery folks had no trouble walking upstairs. What happened?