Day 27 - To the moon and the tan

Florida:

My dream has come true. I finally got to go to the Kennedy Space Center and most importantly, the Astronaut Hall of Fame. The $41 entrance fee was an unexpected kick in the gut. The rockets and space shuttles were worth the ticket price, but the rest was a little disappointing... fun and educational for children but tedious for impatient tour haters like me. The free entrance to the Astronaut Museum was more like it. I drove seven extra miles to get there but it was worth it.

Ever since I saw the movie The Right Stuff (and later read the book by Tom Wolfe), I've been fascinated by the seven pioneers who made it possible for us to reach the unreachable. I was welcomed by the statue of Scott Carpenter and pictures of Gordo Cooper, John Glenn, Gus Grissom and all the other boys including the recent recruits I don't even know. I'm just soooo lucky to be gallivanting around the country to the places I really want to see. I have another week or so, I think, then home.

Remember Cameron Diaz' neighbor? The old woman with the dog in There's Something About Mary? Well, I saw a bunch of them today in South Beach Miami. Tons of locals and tourists were tanned...and not regular tanned, but you're-going to-look-like-a-saddle-in-five-years tanned. Even the young kids look odd and wrinkled.

I walked around the beach sweating like a squished snail. I was assessing (making fun) of people while they stared at me in my black t-shirt and maroon corduroy. Yes, I'm a photophobe, a bathingsuitphobe, and a shortsaphobe. My hangups, however, made me hotter than everyone else. Then walking toward me came BaddicusFinch's mini-twin wearing dark rimmed glasses, dark shirt, slacks...and a messenger bag! We looked at each other, smiled and kept on walking. At least we weren't alone.

I trudged about three miles in search of the down-home pulled pork sandwich that Dexter Morgan loves so much. Of course there was none to be had. South Beach was rife for tourists with money, I suppose, because the cheapest meal I encountered was $25. Never thought I'd say this, but good thing I hung a left and stumbled onto Subway. I bought a veggie footlong which I can have tonight and tomorrow.

Throughout the states I've been to this trip, I hadn't heard the sound of a car horn. And voila! Miamians love to honk and tailgate...for no reason whatsoever. So my L.A. road rage kicked up a couple times. When a driver invaded my road space, I would splatter the tailgater's car with windshield wiper fluid. Sure enough, they'd drive around me and give me the look for which I would smile and flash the peace sign.

Day 4 - Band-Aid and my hot transvestite neighbor

Dallas:

Yesterday’s antics really shook me up despite my attempt at calm this entire day. I forgot to mention that the New Mexico cops kept asking me if my husband knew where I was. Hmm. Do you Baddicus? Didn’t I phone you before the dog started sniffing my car?

Anyballoo, as I drove I continued my Clive Owen saga, listened to Radiohead, but still couldn’t get the wobbliness from my legs this morning…that was until I bought wheat bread for .99 at a gas station mini-mart. Now I'll be able to try the Cheez Whiz that Bad bought to spread on pan de sal. How lowbrow and full of preservatives, but I don’t care. I’m on a micro-budget as motel money keeps eating away at my reserves. The tab for 4-6 weeks of roof over my head scares me.

The drive down to Dallas was gorgeous. Rain kindly washed the car, and I couldn’t believe how green things were for the month of June. Drivers aren’t like Californians...very courteous and keep within the speed limit. I imagine my friend Jeremy the Race Car Driver dying over here. Plus, folks still use checkbooks to pay for gas and groceries.

Before getting a place, I decided to visit downtown Dallas and check on the 6th Floor Museum where Lee Harvey Oswald shot JFK (alone?) from the notorious half-moon window. At first I was pissy about the audio guide and the amount of pictures to be tackled in the museum – especially since I paid $13.50! But the audio with eyewitness testimonies fit perfectly with the photographs. A couple of times I actually teared up...until I heard an ornery woman shout, “He didn’t bring the wall down! Reagan did that. Reagan’s a hero to us.”

I walked the infamous grassy knoll and strolled the downtown streets glistening with heat. I saw wondrous buildings with names I did not learn, but I took lots of pictures of them. I love skyscrapers because they remind me of home. They make me forget that I’m not in hicksville anymore where three officers of the law fiddle with an innocent traveler's car for no meaningful reason.

I’m staying two days in Dallas then I’m off to Oklahoma. Ramada Inn is the cheapest today. Across the way from my complex are people who rent by the month. A pretty transvestite in Daisy Dukes said hi to me and I felt better. She reminded me of L.A. Cool.